My home... no my LIFE has been taken over by midgets!
Some of you may say that I qualify as one who is vertically challenged... BUT I'm talking about elves. Real live little imps that cause mischief and disarray. Objects suspiciously disappearing... and mysteriously REappearing in such places as my shoes, the toilet... most obnoxiously the NOSES of my perfect, un-naughty little children. Messes magically REappear moments after I have cleaned them. ...MY children would never cause such a disaster. Unidentified malodious vapors coming from my spotless childrens rooms.
These little trouble makers have also taken over my car. When I start the car Justin Timberlake (YES, I love the curly mopped beebopper) has been replaced by beebopping frogs belting out another obnoxious version of the abc song. That same gag reflex-inducing smell from the kids rooms has also taken over the car. And the back of my car, previously luxuriously spacious begging for me to go shopping to fill it with treasure is now busting at the seams with strollers, bikes, porta cribs and all sorts of unrecognizable midget proportioned trinkets.
Lets not even get into my purse. That is just embarassing. Lets just say that should you ever take part in a scavenger hunt, come to my house. You'll find everything you need in my elephant bag. What happened to the days when the only thing I slung over my shoulder that was busting at the seam was my wallet spilling over with the bounty of money I made as.... oh... an administrative assistant?! (nevermind)
Since when did child bearing give your life (and your sanity at times) over to the chaotic, naughty whims of the whimsical and previously fictional elves of our childhood fairy tales. I feel as if I have been lied to my entire life. "No Sarah "Justin" (my imaginary trouble making friend) is not real, YOU must have made this mess. Well, I am an adult now and I must insist... MESSES AND MISCHIEF can be caused by unseen forces. I give my word, that if I ever HAPPEN to stuff a thousand cotton balls down the toilet causing it to flood the entire neighborhood... I will take credit for it. Until then... does anyone have the number for a good imp exterminator?!
2 comments:
lol....imps live at my house too!.....I hope the tooth fairy is real too, because I ain't paying a dime for a yucky ol tooth. Lets cross our fingers!
Ha Ha that is you are very clever, you need to get sponsers and get paid for blogging your are good at it... My phone number is..... ###-#### ok you know it I'm not a imp exterminator but I miss those fart faces :) come and play with us!!!1
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